I've gotten to know myself a lot better this year. I think it comes with age. We begin to find who we really are. It also comes from spiritual maturity. We begin to learn our value because of what Jesus did for us.
Through the year I've found so many new hobbies and passions. A lot of people look at me and think I'm not a very big girly girl. Even close friends. One time my sister told me "you need to be more feminine." Just because I don't walk around on my tiptoes so my calves stay toned, or have mani/pedi days at the spa or try the atkins/south beach/or just not eating diets (cause I love food!)doesn't mean I'm not just as feminine as the next girl.
I do admit... I've always gotten along with boys better. Because the girls I grew up with were catty. I like to talk about music and joke around and I don't hold my burps (well, I have a little bit more lately) and I talk about boogers. I mean, whats wrong with that? Girls don't talk about music (except my wonderful Claire and my new dear friend Erin Elise). They hold they're burps (except Jenny) and they certainly don't talk about boogers (except my 5 and 6 year old nieces.) But I like to talk about makeup and hair and boys and my relationship with the Lord and what he's teaching me (guys talk about that too, don't get me wrong.) Here I go... it's beginning to sound like I'm babbling. Run on paragraph, eh? Sorry. Anyways....
Here are a few things I've discovered about myself, and just things in general, over the last year.

Some of my favorite things to do are:
Curl up with a good book in my living room with my beautiful flowers outside the window.
I love to stare at art.

take a walk in the park by my house.
listen to soothing music before I go to bed.
Discover new recipes that I (YES, ME) can cook.
Read Spin or Blender magazine (music).
Introduce people to new music.

I've discovered that...
I cry during movies, songs and church. Whether they're sad tears or joyous tears.
I have in fact had my heart broken.
I try to find ways to be different than every other average Joe.
I like to think about the "good ol' days"
It's in those times I think about my mom's china
And climbing the trees outside my house in Washington.

My favorite tea is chai tea. For some reason the smell and taste just make me so happy.
My best friend is my 13 year old cat, Pookie.
My favorite movie (and soundtrack) is Elizabethtown. If you haven't seen it... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!

I'm a romantic... BIG TIME.
I like poetry, stars and eyes.

I miss my family. I wish we had been more close-knit.

I love Austin, TX and I will be moving there... one day.

I've learned that I have the most amazing group of friends and I'm tearing up just writing that. I love y'all. I'm truly thankful for everything I'm blessed with. Post a Comment

So This blog is going to be particularly random. I have 3 different things to talk about and I dont feel like doing a seperate blog for each. So I will start out with the first of 3 essential F words...
Play this song while you read



Fascination
Last week, (before the cloud watching day) I had been praying for God to just fascinate me. To show me how truly fascinating He is. The Song of Solomon study I am going through talks about the 7 longings of our hearts and how if we don't look to God to satisfy those longings then we will find another way to satisfy them, usually resulting in sin. One of the longings is fascination. So, I was praying about it and WOW.... Did He ever fascinate me?! First the clouds. Then I was at home one night and Whitney (one of the roomies) and I were talking about how amazing the Lord is. We just started talking about heaven and how the Bible says that there are colors that we will see that we have never even seen before. (I can't remember for the life of me where it is in scripture) I’m just gonna let you marinate on that for a minute.
Colors.
We’ve never seen.
We are incapable of imagining what they look like.
Can you even wrap your brain around that? I mean we don’t understand. We could think all day… “well, what if its turqu… oh no that already exists. What if it’s like a purple… nope that’s already been done.” Go outside. Or even just look around you. DO YOU REALIZE…. There are millions… BILLIONS of different colors in the room (or in nature) around you. I mean… Just look at MY HAIR and you have like 5 million different colors right there! Ha! No but really, how amazing and awesome and fantastic is that. My favorite color is turquoise. And hot pink. I’ll have SOOOOOO many more to chose from later!! Wow. He is so worthy of all of our praise. Because we give Him junk. We give Him ashes, He gives us beauty. He doesn’t NEED us. Good grief He made the stones cry out. But He wants us and He has (even after giving us His precious Son) so many more gifts to give us!

Fear
John Fox brought to my attention the Fear of the Lord this week. It literally changed my life.
He said something that, at first, struck me as weird and discomforted me. But… then I thought about it and… well, I’ll just tell you.
He said he’d been running lately so his physique had changed. He was admiring himself in the mirror and all of a sudden he got this pain in his back. Then he realized he was being vain. He totally believes that God gave him that pain to be like “no sir… vanity is not ok.” So John was saying how God is the great I AM, He is a jealous God and He has the power to strike us dead if He wills. I was just like ehhh… but He is so gracious. Which YES, praise Him, He is gracious, BUT let’s not forget about all the other qualities he has. Jealousy, Wrath, Mercy, Love. But regardless…. HE HAS the power.
Deuteronomy 9:19
I feared the anger and wrath of the LORD, for he was angry enough with you to destroy you. But again the LORD listened to me
And it’s like an automatic, split-second change that occurred in me. Now, when I do things that I normally do that are sinful, things I don’t really think about like my temper or impatience, this week it’s been like, before I did it, I thought about God. And I didn’t do it, out of fear of the Lord. It’s an amazing thing too.
And yes I fear Him, but at the same time, I know He totally and completely loves me in the purest form. It’s only in Him that those two things can compliment eachother. Love, and fear of the One who you love. And I praise Him for that fear because it’s killing sinful habits I have.

Fun
Next, just wanted to share the day I had. I spent the day with my niece and nephew. Blake and Topanga. They got here and we went to Sweet Eugene’s and got donuts for breakfast and we played checkers there (which my patience was tested here, trying to explain a 6 and 7 year old how to play a game like this is hard). And then we went back to my casa. We were going to go swimming but because of the black clouds and the storm a’brewin, we stayed inside and they painted pictures for Grandma Faye and played Scrabble (WHY all these hard to explain games? Ha) And THEN after a bit of POURING… it’s stopped and got beautiful outside. So we went to Adamson’s Lagoon and spent the day there. Staci and Hayden and Hannah came too and we had a blast. I love my kiddos. Oh Mom, sorry, I forgot to have them call you!
Anyways, later I had a lovely 3 hour (not intended) nap. Then went BACK up to Sweet Eugene’s and hung out with my lovely roomie Kyndall, Ashley, Mark, and Caleb. We had an awesome time. It’s so good, being someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum, to be around people who just love their creator! What a blessing it is to have their company and friendship!
Please pray for my Grandma, she hasn’t been feeling well lately and her medicine isn’t helping her. And also pray for the roommate situation to pan out for me, I wanna stay with Kyndall soooooo bad. Love y’all and thanks for reading! Post a Comment

"Oh Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds thy hands has made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder. Thy power throughout the universe displays. Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to thee, How great Thou art." -How Great Thou Art

Today I am just awe-stricken. With everything.

Today, when I was on my break from work, I went outside. Because even when it's 350 degrees outside it's still nice to get fresh air when you've been inside for 6 hours. So I sat down and looked up. Have you ever just looked up. Like, contently sat there with your head in a vertical (neck cricking) position just staring. Do you ever try and soar through the universe instead of just walk through the world around you? The Bible says to store our treasures up in Heaven (Matt 6:19-20). I saw inside the treasure box today. Yep... sure did. Are you jealous? Don't be. You can too!

God painted pictures in the clouds for me. A broken heart that quickly mended back to a whole heart... I'm serious, it happened, God can do that! And a guitar, and a ghost flying, and dolphin... An OLD FASHIONED DONUT?!?! Yeah, he's got a sense of humor too! But do you know that from a mile away that same cloud looks totally different? Do you ever notice how you can point something out to someone that you see but they never see it? So someone on the other side of that cloud, or directly beneath it, could see a totally different thing. I just can't help but think God does certain things for certain people. I actually had a friend who got to share those clouds today (and saw all the things I did, minus the dolphin). But what a blessing! He is romancing us, we just have to watch for it. He's wooing us to love him.

I'm also totally in awe of laughter. Man, if I don't die laughing in histerics, my day is wasted. You know who does a great job at making me laugh? Anson Hendrick. He got that funny gene his mom has. And I love it. My roommate, Kyndall... yeah she's pretty funny too. But funny stories, funny expressions, funny kids, they're all just... AWESOME! Let me share a quick funny story.... A crawfish crossing the road. Is that not hilarious? Kyndall, and our friend Mark saw one crossing the feeder road the other day. Can you imagine? Can we get a crawfish crossing sign made?

Music. You all know it's my favorite topic of discussion besides God. If you don't, then you don't know me very well. I'm listening to my iPod. Eyes closed. Praising the Lord with Shane and Shane. When you close your eyes, you hear so many elements and layers of the song that you wouldn't hear otherwise. I mean of course, you unconsciously hear it. How else could you name that tune by just the bass line (huh Kaylene?) But do you ever just sava' the flava' of the notes? Just press play on the song on my blog. (go on... to the left.... no, your left... THERE you go!) and close your eyes and listen. Concentrate on one instrument (guitar, drums, bass, vocals) and then slowly... start concentrating on 2 then 3... until it's all intricately laced up to make one beautiful, heart-pleasing, tasty song! By the grace of God... He made that music! He made those notes. And our ears to hear. He made those notes pleasing to our ears. And you know what's awesome about it is.... We can make music for His glory. We can turn right around and give it back to Him. Isn't that beautiful? This is where my passion for music lies. In this very truth. And with all those notes and lyrics and all those other awesome things... God's just saying "I love you. Here's all these magnificent things I have given you, and there's more to come. Now, just love Me!" What comes with love? Obedience. And with that comes life.

Real, amazingly abundant life.

How could you not already love someone who so passionately created and loved you?

Let me tell ya'll, I never saw the beauty in EVERYTHING until I came into a personal relationship with the Lord. Without Christ, I couldn't cherish all these things. He revealed the love of God to me. He is amazing. Beautiful. Breath-taking. And He loves us.

So I challenge you. Like you did with the song... if you did it... close your eyes. Just close your eyes....
"Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) Post a Comment

And I was wondering if anyone knew of any other girls at Living Hope that need a roommate. Ashley Warren and I will be getting a 3 bedroom in August and need the 3rd person. KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN!!! Thanks! Post a Comment

But now I have a new and improved pretty blog page!!! So I'm gonna write a long one. Cause there's a lot of updates. yep yep...

Well... let's see. I moved in with Kyndall and Whitney about a month and a half ago. And let me just say that THEY ARE AMAZING! I love these girls. They have been a solid ground for me when things haven't been so solid. You see not too long after I moved in I lost my job. I had about a week and a half where I didnt have a job and man, it was really discouraging. But I got one. And now things are very very tight, financially. But God is good. My landlord agreed to work out a plan.

I really miss all my friends who went home and on mission trips over the summer. Whitney, Katy F, Tanya, Adam, Chuck, Kim, Kevin, Nells, Sara, Juliette, Patrick, you all are verrrry missed!

But God is doing some huge things at Living Hope. People are coming into a relationship with God everyday and mine is growing deeper. He's really showing me what it means to be wholly devoted to Him. I'm taking an Experiencing God class and a Song of Solomon study this summer. With lovely lovely people. Which reminds me I need to get to reading my "Seven Longings of the Human Heart" which is part of the Song of Solomon study so.... I will have to continue this later

Ok I'm back ;) I know... this is like just how I talk... Rammbling. Whatever.




I finally got my stuff finished at Blinn yesterday. Now I just have to wait for the government to give me money for school :/ so pray for me for that. I've decided my major is going to be communications with a minor in marketing. Not to go to the market and communicate with people, I can do that without a degree. (sorry, corny joke). But I actually want to pursue a career in Music. (Hi, Dad!) No, not playing music, but want to be an agent or a manager for a record company. Preferably a Christain label like Tooth and Nail, Sparrow, Forefront Records or Curb Records. I think it would be just a BLAST!!!! Have any of ya'll heard of This Beautiful Republic? They're my new favorite. Listen to them here... This Beautiful Republic

I plan to go to Blinn for a year and move to Austin in May of 2008 and then transfer to Austin Community College in August. Hopefully get a job at a local or even bigger record label and then eventually go to UT WOOOOHOOOO! I am NOT an Aggie guys, ya'll gotta get the facts straight haha. There's by no means nothing wrong with that. It just ain't me. Except for the fact that I just said "ain't" and would defend the fact that it is in the dictionary.

I'm doing KidShine this summer. It's a Sunday night thing. The name of KidShine comes from Matthew 5:14-16 where it says

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

On the first day we taught the kids what it means to shine in darkness by turning off the lights in the room (which also had blackout paper on the windows) and then turned on a small lamp. Then they named all the leaders a name that had something to do with light. Thanks to the pastor's daughter miss Jalie... I had the COOLEST name (I think)... MISS RADIANT!!! Oh yes! Sorry Omo... I know you wanted that one. But Light Saber is a cool name too! :) Anyways, We're teaching them this summer why and how we worship and in August the kids are taking over worship at "big church" and I'm SOOOOOOOOO excited! Ahhh, it will be so good.

Ok now... The plan is to blog at least once a week now that I actually got it up and running again. So check back frequently and I'll keep you updated on life. Mucho love to everyone! Oh and check out the Prayer section on the left, that's where I will have any prayer requests I have for the week. ♥Ash Post a Comment